Teacher's Pet by Richie Tankersley Cusick

Giedon Drewe – is teaching his brother’s class for him…. She’s basically written as a retard, which is something the other characters are terribly un-empathetic about, and they spend their time making cuckoo symbols at her behind her back and making her the butt of jokes that she has too many extra chromosomes to be able to understand. Tawney is a beautiful but rather simple-minded girl. If he was a cartoon character he’d be Artie Zipp (or is it Ziff?) from the Simpsons (my references are nothing if not current. Every time he had a line I’d instinctively clap my hands over my ears to block him out. He’s also something of a sex pest, and there’s something very shrill about his character. You know, poetic shit like that.ĭenzil Doyle – Denzil looks 13 but is 18. If you were to ask him the time he’d probably say something like ‘perhaps….it is time….for….the sand of time in you hourglass of life and time….to run out of time….’ and then slip away into the shadows. Everything he says is crammed with pregnant pauses and delivered in a vaguely threatening manner. His parents died with the Drew parents in one big smooshy car accident. He’s the camp caretaker, and his family were the caretakers for the Drew family. His eyes are piercing and “black as smoke.” Hmmm, last time I checked, smoke was kind of a see through dirty white colour. And surely we all turn to Point Horror for gritty realism and breathtakingly lifelike characterisations.Īnyway, the Teacher’s Pet creep count includes (in order of introduction): Umm, I feel that I’ve lost my thread here – point is, characters are unrealistic and over the top.

Now, just because those other 4 potential psychos haven’t killed yet, it doesn’t mean they never will.

To throw the reader off the scent, the writer has to give us about 5 incredibly creepy characters who commit at least one horribly deranged act apiece, but 4 out of these will turn out to be perfectly innocent. Point Horror books with this kind of blatant set-up are not my favourites. Nobody’s too worried though, by all accounts this guy is kind of a douchebag.Īt camp, Kate meets a whole host lovely and vaguely threatening characters, so readers can play the fun game of spot-the-killer.

Kate is meant to be attending a number of seminars held by a legendary horror author called William Drew – but Billy D hasn’t turned up and nowhere knows where he is. Kate goes to a writer’s camp with her teacher (coooollll.) Supposedly, Kate is really good at writing horror stories – it’s too bad Kate couldn’t give Richie Tankersely Cusick a helping hand.

So, the first half of this book is not terribly exciting, and is basically clumsy exposition and set up. Particularly Dead Set, which is bloody brilliant. I took a bit longer with my second post than I would have liked to, I blame TV.

Teacher's Pet by Richie Tankersley Cusick